So I tried cooking and frying my food just now...

Hot oil decided to leap at my eye. On the up-side the food turned out pretty good!
Maybe make this a bit more interactive/productive... Can you cook? Have you ever cooked? Or does something always go wrong?
The food turns out pretty good but I always end up making a huge mess, break something or end up hurting myself somehow while in the process of making the food.

Water takes too damn long to boil.

When I was younger I made a peanut butter burger. Was pretty good for what it was. If I'm hungry and feel like putting in ANY effort, I'll make a quesadilla. If not, I'll eat a dinner roll or wait for a meal to fall on my lap.

Today I made eggs. I make eggs a lot for breakfast. It turned out fine except they were a bit runny since I had about three minutes to eat them when I took them off the stove.