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Mountain Man John McCoolface

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Mountain Man John McCoolface

Post by Trollestia on Thu Dec 12, 2013 2:05 pm

So there's this total dickhead who's in one of my classes, he's this big dude with a gross beard who always comes into class late, he's got his fucking Doc Martin boots and his flannel shirt and Neff beanie, he comes into class every day late, sits behind me, clogs my nostrils with the scent of weed and tobacco, opens his backpack, and eats carrots and celery. In class.
It's like, yo man, I get it. You tried real hard to build this mountain man granola bro image, you spent six months growing out your nasty rat's nest and your hair is borderline dreadlocks because you only wash it in cold mountain springs or whatever, and you want everybody to notice you. I get that. But man, do you have to eat your vegetables in class? It's like, we all love vegetables. Or at least I do. Carrots and celery, man, that shit's great. But we all know you're a super cool dude who tries too hard to look like Johnny Appleseed. You don't need to punctuate your irritating presence with loud, open-mouthed crunches of some of the loudest food to ever exist. Maybe bring an axe, or a chainsaw to class. Something less loud and less distracting to everybody around you.
That's my rant. I hope I don't have this fucker in my class next term.
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Re: Mountain Man John McCoolface

Post by Mr. Freeze on Thu Dec 12, 2013 4:18 pm

There was this chick in one of my classes who went on huge rants regarding abortion for no real reason. When we did group presentations for the class on Charles Dickens, for the first time ever she finally shut up. Then when my group went up she put in her earphones and tuned out.

How rude.
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Re: Mountain Man John McCoolface

Post by Trollestia on Thu Dec 12, 2013 5:03 pm

To be fair Charles Dickens is boring enough, who wants to listen to somebody else talk about classical literature? She's in community college not Yale, c'mon!
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Re: Mountain Man John McCoolface

Post by Mr. Freeze on Thu Dec 12, 2013 5:36 pm

She had her presentation on the previous day. She was explicitly told she didn't have to come to class if she didn't want to see the presentations. Either pay attention or don't go at all, man.

All anyone could tell us regarding feedback to our presentation was that they were pissed off that she was rudely tuning out. It became a distraction and an offense to at least four people who weren't up presenting. It was disrespectful in that she had a choice to come to class or not, and chose to come to class and ignore us. Common courtesy was absent, Dickens be damned.
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Re: Mountain Man John McCoolface

Post by Trollestia on Fri Dec 13, 2013 12:45 am

She just wanted to listen to her sick jams, man. What's cooler, Dickens or hardcore bass drops?
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Re: Mountain Man John McCoolface

Post by Trollestia on Thu Apr 03, 2014 11:41 am

UPDATE ON THIS DICKFACE:
So this guy has managed to keep himself in the same German class as me through the entire school year. But guess what? Now he's not a mountain man. He's a swagfag. He's got a douchey "Obey" hat with the sticker still on it, he wears shirts with obscure rap artists that are too large for him, and he switched his CAT boots out for high-top skater shoes that he doesn't tie. He also drastically trimmed his beard. This is between the last time I saw him and now, btw, so he changed his entire image in just a little more than a week. I hate him even more now. He still eats carrots and celery in class too.
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